更新时间：作者：小小条
前几天谈了留学推荐信的一些问题和撰写原则，今天，我将通过对几篇推荐信具体段落的评论来进一步讲讲好的推荐信应该怎么写。以下是一些例子：
推荐信修改 例子1：
Miss Ruanjian is now working under my immediate supervision in the Engineering Department of the Heavy-duty Equipment Co, Ltd. Ruanjian has proved to be of invaluable assistance in adapting our international corporate operating system to clear the hurdles of relatively undeveloped Chinese market conditions.
One of Ruanjian's greatest contributions is in the adaptation and modification of our integrated IBC ( Industrial Boiler Control) software. The rigidity of the program structure had often led to complications in our relations with our clients. She was able to work with both the program and with our clients to smooth points of friction and eventually satisfy our clients. Subsequently, she has succeeded in adapting our program to avoid such further instances. She learns from mistakes and quickly takes steps to avoid them in the future.
修改点评：
我们一般在第一段就要说清楚推荐人与被推荐人的关系、双方各处于什么职位。如果被椎荐人是推荐人的雇员或者合作伙伴，应该说明被推荐人的职位以及工作职责，也可以概括一下被推荐人所做的一些重点项目。最后也可以用一句话总体评价一下被推荐人。
本文虽然只选了两段，但已经是推荐信的主要内容了。在这篇推荐信里，推荐人并没有使用太多的形容词，只是让事实本身说话。被推荐人“软件小姐”在公司里销售与重工业设备配套的软件。
因为每一个单位的设施不尽相同，因此经常需要对软件产品做适当的调整，并且与申请者进行充分的沟通。“软件小姐”非常胜任这项工作，并且有能力从以往的错误中总结经验，指导今后的销售工作。虽然叙述的事情不多，但非常具体、真实，连软件的名称和用处都予以了说明。这样的推荐信通过事例来说明一个人的经历和能力，尽管简短却要言不烦，非常有效。
推荐信修改 例子2：
At this water plant, she has consistently demonstrated a keen mind and impeccable work ethics. She started working as my assistant when I was conducting research on the application of the fiber filtering technology to the treatment of drinking water, which is traditionally treated with sodium silicate. My research represented the first attempt at applying the fiber filtering technology outside. The realm of industrial wastewater treatment.
Ms. Du stopped at nothing in her effort to learn. She quickly learned to operate all the equipment and devices skillfully. When the plant completed converting the old filters into fast-filters, she seized the occasion as a good opportunity for her to practice what she had learned. Assigned to test the quality of the water flowing out of the new filters, she had to do protracted data recording to find out the functioning of the new filters under different conditions. Undeterred by the monotony of the job, she discharged her duties with great patience and meticulous care.
修改点评：
以上这封推荐信介绍了学环境工程的杜女士在工作上的表现，她的工作是配合研制水净化设备。本文没有像许多申请者那样把一个刚出道的年轻工程师吹捧成一个大师一—一“独立承担着”某项划时代的科研项目，而是恰如其分地介绍了杜女士在工作的初期还在继续学*，她在这段培训过程中十分刻苦，工作十分细致，出色地完成了非常枯燥、重复的数据记录工作。
其实国外任何指导实验的教授都知道，一个研究生刚毕业到了研究部门只能做些辅助的工作，所以杜女士拥有这样的经历已经足以说明其素质和能力了。所以在推荐信中，切忌不切实际地瞎吹。否则，就会弄巧成拙，起到反作用。
推荐信修改 例子3：
以下这篇推荐信的内容是充实的，但是语言却有很大的问题。我把它修改了一遍，在原文后面的括号内用黑体显示。
To whom it may concern : (Dear Admission Officers:)
I am the Senior Marketing Development Manager of HP (CHINA ) CO., LTD. I now write with great pleasure to recommend Ms. Zhu Xiaomei, the Manager of Public Relation Department. ( As the Senior Marketing Development Manager of HP ( China) Company, Ltd. and one who has had the chance to see Ms. Zhu Xiaomei, Manager of Public Relations in action, I beLieve I am quite qualified to recommend her for your consideration.)
修改点评：
推荐信的称呼一般不能用to whom it may concern，这样不礼貌。最好不要用I am...这样的“主谓宾”结构的句型。虽然语法上没有错，但是这样的句型与下面的内容必须分成两个句子，显得不紧凑。改后稿的最后一句是必须的。因为在信的开头部分应该交代清楚推荐人和被推荐人的关系。（连载中……）
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